I have a secrete. Last week I spent most of the days in tears when no one was looking. I guess that’s not so secrete anymore. Why do I share that? Because chances are, most days, I’m not the only one that wears happy on the outside and struggles on the inside. We all have struggles. We all have loss, pain, defeats we are doing inner battle with while we put one foot in front of the other, doing the next thing. That simple act of walking some days can be so hard.
Last week was hard because it was the return of my normal, every-day cycle. No big deal. Totally normal. Except that it wasn’t. I was supposed to have still been pregnant. And I wasn’t. I wasn’t pregnant again either, nor do I know if I ever will be again. That was the reality I was struggling to juggle while working to walk.
I wore happy but inside I felt more like the boat I photographed in Canada-laid up on a rocky shore, snow-covered with bare bones exposed. It was fragile, definitely not sea-worthy. Boats are built to sail but this boat was just broken.
I am often asked what I enjoyed most about our week by the ocean. In truth, the answer I want to give but never have is that it will be a time I look back on and remember being pregnant. It was a week of complete disconnect I cherish because I was given unprecedented time away to marvel at the unprecedented miracle that was taking place in our family, in me. It was a forever special time.
Today is special also.
Even though it looks very different than a couple of months ago. Why? Because today, just like all of last week, I am learning what it is to be comforted by the God of all comfort once again. I am discovering what it is to cling to Him because He is everything. God overcomes everything. Even the broken. Even the empty. Even loss. Most especially death. He is HOPE.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
But God’s comfort is different than ours.
We often think of comfort in terms of softness and ease, the opposite of hard. God’s comfort here however is related to the word “paraclete,” which means to come alongside to help. It’s also another term for the Holy Spirit. John MacArthur explains in his commentary that what Paul intended for us to know is that God comes alongside us in our suffering and troubles to strengthen us and give courage, give boldness.
It DOES NOT mean the hard will fall magically away and become easy. It DOES mean we will be given courage and boldness to continue walking, continue pointing back to God. The hard we walk through can be the very tools God uses to strengthen and build up others who are walking in the midst of crushing realities. He comforts us. We should comfort others.
In the dark that falls God is the light on the shore. In Darkness God is always light. That will always be a special reality for those of us who believe, even in the hard. In God we are strengthened. We are fortified. We are given the ability to keep walking. We are comforted.
Take some time and listen to this song. Do you have questions without answers? On what do your billows roll?
