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When You Find Yourself Tired of Hard Seasons
In life's challenging seasons, pain is a transformative process that fosters faith. Change, while uncomfortable, is ultimately God's work, leading to growth and a deeper relationship with Him.
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When You Can’t Take Much More
“As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God! Psalm 40:17 (ESV) Some days it’s difficult to get out of bed. As a mom, yesterday’s battles weigh heavy, and today’s demands feel overwhelming. Deep down I know I am not ready for more; I’m not OK. I feel my weakness with every step, and before I know it, another day starts running on empty. Can any of the moms out there relate? Not even coffee helps. Even though I’m aware of my need, I fail to own it. Instead, I ignore…
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Goodbyes are Hard
“Jesus wept.” — John 11:35 “Heaven knows we never need to be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” – Great Expectations, Charles Dickens Goodbyes are not easy. In grief, I snuck away to the grocery store alone and wept all the way home. Thoughts of my fur baby weighed heavy on my heart. Our beloved cat, who had been with us for 18 years, was signaling it was time to say goodbye. On one hand I felt silly. “This is just a pet, an animal we’re talking about. It’s not like someone died.” Yet Bandit’s presence was significant.…
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Anxious Waiting is not Faith-Filled Waiting
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”~ Psalm 130:5-6 I don’t like to wait. Something about waiting always leaves me unsettled—nervous. Waiting feels like it has a 50/50 chance of producing a positive outcome. Because the end result is unpredictable, I war-game scenarios, all of them typically worst-case. What if the test comes back cancerous? What if things don’t heal the way they are supposed to? What if I lose my spouse and I have to raise these kids on my own? What ifs that…
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Dear Moms: Your Desperate Prayers Matter
I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” —Psalm 142:5 When I dreamed of motherhood, I did not dream of potty training. Or tantrums. Or stubborn, irrational little people that cause hair to grey early. Through the long and painful years of childlessness and infertility, I dreamed of a full kitchen table, ball games and grubby fingers at play. I dreamed of holding little hands and longed to look into dimpled faces as I rocked them to sleep at night. My vision of motherhood was painted with all the richness and warmth that seemed so distant from my…
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For the Season that Lasts Too Long
“For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD, your Redeemer.” — Isaiah 54:4 Why do seasons I want to put behind me linger longest? Why can’t I just enjoy the sweetness of spring without the tinge of the bitter? March marches in budding trees and greening grass but also the air of something familiar—grief. Lingering grief. Time heals but time does not erase. Pain doesn’t feel momentary. Pain is life altering. The baby we lost 5 years ago to…
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What’s in Your Backpack?
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” —Matthew 11:28-30 I once packed a bag far too heavy and it was miserable to carry. Every summer as a teen our youth group took a week-long back-packing trip through the Colorado mountains. This yearly trip was one I anticipated for months on end. What I didn’t foresee was the learning curve involved. Eventually I became a seasoned hiker, but my first summer was a painful experience in discovering how NOT to pack your bag. Even though I was given a special internal frame pack designed to make hikes lighter, it still was not designed to…
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When Study of God’s Word is a Struggle
“I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.” — Job 23:12 ESV I love to study God’s Word. There is little I love more than learning about God and the steadfast relationship He extends to us. This hasn’t always been the case. God’s Word has not always been my go-to for all things “life.” People are quick resources and easier to understand. What I want from people is often a roadmap to God that helps me see and understand Him more clearly. Studying God’s Word is not fast work—it’s hard work. Not only did I not know how…
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We Can Never Out-Do God
In the middle of espresso prep this morning my eldest wandered downstairs. His voice was hushed against the backdrop of my steaming wand as it worked it’s magic wonders on my coffee—a desperately needed morning routine. “Mom, do I have Jesus in my life?” The question caught me off guard. “Well, I remember the day we talked a long time about it and you wanted to pray and ask God for forgiveness. Do you remember?” He nodded, but I could tell this answer wasn’t sufficiently addressing his concern. “But mom, I still sin. Does God just leave me when I sin?” Talk about an anything but routine morning conversation. That’s…
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We Can Steward Pain Well
As I write, the air is cool and my maple in the front yard glows a fire orange. It’s Fall. I love everything about Fall—the cooling temperatures, the changing colors, the promise that the cold season is coming. It’s in the cold season, when the snow flies, that time slows and I exhale. And so my children wait with me. They wait in anticipation for the first snow of the year and another change in seasons. I’m thankful seasons change. I’m thankful hard seasons in life change. Life moves—it doesn’t stay stagnant or motionless. Sometimes though, in the unseen parts of my heart, emotions feel stuck. Hard emotions that are…
