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When You Feel Worthless, Know You are Deeply Loved
From foster care to adoption, the author reflects on feeling unworthy to realizing God’s love is unconditional. No past or struggle can take away the grace we’re given, and our worth is always defined by His love, not our circumstances.
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Anxious Waiting is not Faith-Filled Waiting
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”~ Psalm 130:5-6 I don’t like to wait. Something about waiting always leaves me unsettled—nervous. Waiting feels like it has a 50/50 chance of producing a positive outcome. Because the end result is unpredictable, I war-game scenarios, all of them typically worst-case. What if the test comes back cancerous? What if things don’t heal the way they are supposed to? What if I lose my spouse and I have to raise these kids on my own? What ifs that…
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Soul Silence
“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.” —Psalm 62:1 Can silence really be a good thing? My days are often anything but silent. I pray and within seconds my mind wanders aimlessly. Silence feels frustrating, especially when it battles against time I don’t have. Lately, days are one chaotic sprint after another. Responsibilities are endless. There are places to go, people to see, needs that need met. All that running, all that spinning, leaves me weary. My sprint becomes a stagger through fumes. In the morning I wake tired and in the evening crash—utterly spent. All that running doesn’t help productivity, quite the opposite actually. Instead, all I want…
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Who Am I?
Where to Find Answers to Identity Issues We Wrestle “But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by my name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1 Recently, I was challenged to consider the question, “Who am I?” On the surface, I am many things. I am a wife, daughter, a mother, and photographer. I am a homeschool mom, a learner, teacher and writer. I have been many things and done many things—often tying my identity to them all. Identity is like a hat I wear on any given season, but…
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What Does Hospitality Have To Do With Lament?
I’ve never considered the year I walked my dad through cancer an act of hospitality. It was many things, yes—but hospitality? I don’t often link hospitality with lament. My summer reading is currently challenging my concept of Christian hospitality. Genuine hospitality isn’t always tidy. In fact—it’s often quite messy. For me, walking my dad through lung cancer six years ago was an act of obedience. It was forgiveness. Deep down I knew how much I had been forgiven as a believer and like-wise forgiveness was something God had called me to extend towards my father. This extended forgiveness was anything but natural and every ounce awkward, as you can imagine.…
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We Can Steward Pain Well
As I write, the air is cool and my maple in the front yard glows a fire orange. It’s Fall. I love everything about Fall—the cooling temperatures, the changing colors, the promise that the cold season is coming. It’s in the cold season, when the snow flies, that time slows and I exhale. And so my children wait with me. They wait in anticipation for the first snow of the year and another change in seasons. I’m thankful seasons change. I’m thankful hard seasons in life change. Life moves—it doesn’t stay stagnant or motionless. Sometimes though, in the unseen parts of my heart, emotions feel stuck. Hard emotions that are…
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A Hard Kind of Beautiful
These days we are walking in are strange aren’t they? I’ve spent the past 2 weeks wanting to write, but not really knowing what to write. Like many of you, I have been at a loss for words. We are walking through and living in times unexpected. Covid-19 has done things none of us could have predicted or imagined. We are not only living lives interrupted, but altogether halted in a sense. Everything cancelled, right? And with all the store closings, schools shutting down, hotels and restaurants shuttering doors, grocery shelves emptying, we feel a loss of control. As if control were ever really ours to begin with. In all…
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Three African Violet Pots
It’s strange the things we focus on when we are waiting for important news. In that space the news could be good or the news could be bad. It’s the not knowing that hits the pause button in that moment of waiting. In hospital or doctor’s rooms most especially. As minutes drag on we hone in on our immediate surroundings. We count lines on a wall, dates on a calendar, look for detail in the pictures on the wall. We seek to distract ourselves from thinking. We seek to calm a racing heart. Three little African violet pots were my distraction. They sat on the window sill in room number…
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God of Comfort
I have a secrete. Last week I spent most of the days in tears when no one was looking. I guess that’s not so secrete anymore. Why do I share that? Because chances are, most days, I’m not the only one that wears happy on the outside and struggles on the inside. We all have struggles. We all have loss, pain, defeats we are doing inner battle with while we put one foot in front of the other, doing the next thing. That simple act of walking some days can be so hard. Last week was hard because it was the return of my normal, every-day cycle. No big deal.…
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Unless God Builds It
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” | Psalm 127:1a ESV Above my bedroom sink hangs a simple verse, a strong reminder that God is in charge. Year after year this verse reminds both my husband and I that the Lord builds our home—not us. Day-by-day we take baby steps in trust. Some days are steady. Other’s are not. Many days we walk unfaithfully. But God is faithful. Ever-present. Always there. A sure constant. This verse reminds me of God’s sovereignty. It reminds me that human effort simply can not accomplish anything. God however, and God alone, produces MUCH. Unless the Lord builds it……