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God, Why Won’t You Fix This?
The author reflects on the struggle to understand suffering and grief, using Job's story to illustrate how pain can both challenge faith and deepen one's relationship with God, revealing His presence.
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When You Feel Worthless, Know You are Deeply Loved
From foster care to adoption, the author reflects on feeling unworthy to realizing God’s love is unconditional. No past or struggle can take away the grace we’re given, and our worth is always defined by His love, not our circumstances.
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Goodbyes are Hard
“Jesus wept.” — John 11:35 “Heaven knows we never need to be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” – Great Expectations, Charles Dickens Goodbyes are not easy. In grief, I snuck away to the grocery store alone and wept all the way home. Thoughts of my fur baby weighed heavy on my heart. Our beloved cat, who had been with us for 18 years, was signaling it was time to say goodbye. On one hand I felt silly. “This is just a pet, an animal we’re talking about. It’s not like someone died.” Yet Bandit’s presence was significant.…
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When You Feel Like Giving Up on God—Lean In
Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God’? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. — Isaiah 40:27-28 Have you ever felt disregarded and abandoned by God? Hard seasons have a way of messing with our hearts don’t they? Difficult seasons that don’t pass quickly leave me with complicated questions that lack tidy answers. Some seasons have been more intense than others. Fireflies in June often remind me…
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For the One in Pain: God’s Presence is Joy
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 Have you ever felt like pain would swallow you whole? That somehow you have been marred beyond hope, unrecognizable even to yourself? Despite gallant efforts, perhaps you have been unable to recover from the hurt someone caused you or the grief you carry. I know suffering can radically transform the landscape of our life into a pile of rubble. We ache in despair: hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). Pain can be so deceptive. In my own heart-sick state, I have been tempted to believe a host of lies. Chief of lies…
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Dear Moms: Your Desperate Prayers Matter
I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” —Psalm 142:5 When I dreamed of motherhood, I did not dream of potty training. Or tantrums. Or stubborn, irrational little people that cause hair to grey early. Through the long and painful years of childlessness and infertility, I dreamed of a full kitchen table, ball games and grubby fingers at play. I dreamed of holding little hands and longed to look into dimpled faces as I rocked them to sleep at night. My vision of motherhood was painted with all the richness and warmth that seemed so distant from my…
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When Life Has You Overwhelmed Don’t Become Underwhelmed
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? — Psalm 27:1 When was the last time God floored you? For me recently, it was during a private pity party as I helplessly wondered how long this hard season with a difficult toddler will last. My prayer was simple: Lord help me! To outsiders, I suppose it looks as though I am strong. After all, we have navigated months of medical procedures, hurdles and big reactive emotions that have assaulted our little one. Somehow our family is still standing—barely. On the inside, however,…
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Miracle
At night sometimes I watch you sleep Little angel sighs against soft lullabies As I’m reminded of how I dreamt of you, All the years I dared not wish for you… What was it now, 8-10 years? A life-time and forever ago Under a harvest sky amidst fireflies I prayed, cried, and let the dream of you die… But here you are, in flesh and bone A marvel of a miracle–blessed Staring at you, our little boy A perfectly simple, unanticipated joy… © Kristy Brungardt, 2021
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Three African Violet Pots
It’s strange the things we focus on when we are waiting for important news. In that space the news could be good or the news could be bad. It’s the not knowing that hits the pause button in that moment of waiting. In hospital or doctor’s rooms most especially. As minutes drag on we hone in on our immediate surroundings. We count lines on a wall, dates on a calendar, look for detail in the pictures on the wall. We seek to distract ourselves from thinking. We seek to calm a racing heart. Three little African violet pots were my distraction. They sat on the window sill in room number…
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Have You Been Praying Starved, Underwhelming Prayers?
Confession time: I just killed off a slice of peach pie large enough for two. Yep. I wish I could say I stopped there. I also may have had a little bit of fudge to go with that, and a large, very large cup of coffee. The indigestion is real. This isn’t standard practice for this momma, but it’s been one of those weeks. OK, maybe one of those seasons. A rat-race, get your coffee hot but drink it cold an hour later kind of season. Busy, straight-up busy. You know, the kind of busy you walk in the front door from, carrying way too many bags while not having…
