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Soul Silence
“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.” —Psalm 62:1 Can silence really be a good thing? My days are often anything but silent. I pray and within seconds my mind wanders aimlessly. Silence feels frustrating, especially when it battles against time I don’t have. Lately, days are one chaotic sprint after another. Responsibilities are endless. There are places to go, people to see, needs that need met. All that running, all that spinning, leaves me weary. My sprint becomes a stagger through fumes. In the morning I wake tired and in the evening crash—utterly spent. All that running doesn’t help productivity, quite the opposite actually. Instead, all I want…
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Loved Anyway
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” —Romans 5:8 In the most unlikely place, in the most unlikely way, love washed over me as I walked through the grocery’s parking lot, sticky toddler fingers in hand. Deep love for my little boy hit as I realized my three year old has been anything but lovable many days these past months. They have been long months. Painful months. Yet love that little boy I do—so so deeply. As we drove home, lyrics to a popular worship song sounded out of tune with reality—out of sync with God’s rich truth. “God…
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For the Season that Lasts Too Long
“For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD, your Redeemer.” — Isaiah 54:4 Why do seasons I want to put behind me linger longest? Why can’t I just enjoy the sweetness of spring without the tinge of the bitter? March marches in budding trees and greening grass but also the air of something familiar—grief. Lingering grief. Time heals but time does not erase. Pain doesn’t feel momentary. Pain is life altering. The baby we lost 5 years ago to…
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When Life Has You Overwhelmed Don’t Become Underwhelmed
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? — Psalm 27:1 When was the last time God floored you? For me recently, it was during a private pity party as I helplessly wondered how long this hard season with a difficult toddler will last. My prayer was simple: Lord help me! To outsiders, I suppose it looks as though I am strong. After all, we have navigated months of medical procedures, hurdles and big reactive emotions that have assaulted our little one. Somehow our family is still standing—barely. On the inside, however,…
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What’s in Your Backpack?
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” —Matthew 11:28-30 I once packed a bag far too heavy and it was miserable to carry. Every summer as a teen our youth group took a week-long back-packing trip through the Colorado mountains. This yearly trip was one I anticipated for months on end. What I didn’t foresee was the learning curve involved. Eventually I became a seasoned hiker, but my first summer was a painful experience in discovering how NOT to pack your bag. Even though I was given a special internal frame pack designed to make hikes lighter, it still was not designed to…
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When Study of God’s Word is a Struggle
“I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.” — Job 23:12 ESV I love to study God’s Word. There is little I love more than learning about God and the steadfast relationship He extends to us. This hasn’t always been the case. God’s Word has not always been my go-to for all things “life.” People are quick resources and easier to understand. What I want from people is often a roadmap to God that helps me see and understand Him more clearly. Studying God’s Word is not fast work—it’s hard work. Not only did I not know how…
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Who Am I?
Where to Find Answers to Identity Issues We Wrestle “But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by my name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1 Recently, I was challenged to consider the question, “Who am I?” On the surface, I am many things. I am a wife, daughter, a mother, and photographer. I am a homeschool mom, a learner, teacher and writer. I have been many things and done many things—often tying my identity to them all. Identity is like a hat I wear on any given season, but…
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Trusting God’s Word When Life Crumbles
A voice says, “Cry!”And I said, “What shall I cry?”All flesh is grass,and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.The grass withers, the flower fadeswhen the breath of the Lord blows on it;surely the people are grass.The grass withers, the flower fades,but the word of our God will stand forever. – Isaiah 40:6-8 Life is a mixed box of chocolates—“we never know what we’ll get” (to quote Forest Gump). Sometimes life is sweet, and sometimes it’s filled with the disappointing orange cream filling. Life is hard. Seasons of hard can feel relentless and ongoing. Through the years, hard seasons have found me choking feeble prayers up to God. I know God is good, I know God is strong, I know God never forsakes us. So I cry to…
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My Strength is Not Enough
I’m writing this more for myself—a needed reminder that not every day will be a glorious triumph in parenting. Not every day is a magical moment made. The last few days have been rough. Bloodwork that came back less than ideal this week (including being anemic somehow), compounded by a toddler who has made meltdowns into a new artform, has me feeling defeated. Some days all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and “do the next thing” as Elisabeth Elliot once said. Somedays all you can do is pray. Pray that God would give grace for the hard and impossible in front of you—whatever…
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What Does Hospitality Have To Do With Lament?
I’ve never considered the year I walked my dad through cancer an act of hospitality. It was many things, yes—but hospitality? I don’t often link hospitality with lament. My summer reading is currently challenging my concept of Christian hospitality. Genuine hospitality isn’t always tidy. In fact—it’s often quite messy. For me, walking my dad through lung cancer six years ago was an act of obedience. It was forgiveness. Deep down I knew how much I had been forgiven as a believer and like-wise forgiveness was something God had called me to extend towards my father. This extended forgiveness was anything but natural and every ounce awkward, as you can imagine.…
