It’s strange the things we focus on when we are waiting for important news. In that space the news could be good or the news could be bad. It’s the not knowing that hits the pause button in that moment of waiting. In hospital or doctor’s rooms most especially. As minutes drag on we hone in on our immediate surroundings. We count lines on a wall, dates on a calendar, look for detail in the pictures on the wall. We seek to distract ourselves from thinking. We seek to calm a racing heart.
Three little African violet pots were my distraction.
They sat on the window sill in room number two at the Ob’s office. I remember it was late March and it was raining outside. I also remember soon after that we learned we lost our miracle baby at about 71/2 weeks.
Fast forward to several months later and most recently, to October, and once again I found myself hopefully 71/2 weeks pregnant staring at three little African violet pots on the window sill in room number two. Minutes ticked by so slowly. My heart was racing and my blood pressure had registered sky-high because I was beyond nervous. I was anxious. I was worried. I didn’t know what the outcome of this appointment would be.
Last time the news we waited for had been so devastating…
This time however, as I stared out the window at the sun shining on those three little pots, we got good news, beautiful news. A healthy heartbeat, a growing baby right on track. We just recently went back and had a doppler at 12 weeks and heard the heartbeat for the very first time. A strong heartbeat the doctor said for a twelve-weeker. Another first, another milestone in this new miracle God and only God is doing. I am now amazingly two days shy of 14 weeks. Lord willing we will get to meet this miracle face-to-face sometime in May. Sometime in May we pray we get to hold and do life with this miracle that God is doing, that God has given as a blessing to our family. An unexpected blessing.
So we continue waiting…
Along with the waiting we continue praying. We continue taking one day at a time and trying our hardest to focus on what we do know and not on what we don’t know. I have been reminded that God writes our stories. He is writing this story. As I sat staring at those African violets that October morning and every subsequent appointment to date, I wondered what it would be like to get to share the good news. Now I get to share it.
Whatever the outcome of this nine-month waiting room is, God is still God. God will still work the good or the bad of this story for His glory in the only way that He can. But we pray earnestly for the good outcome. My heart dares to hope for it. Many of my friends have said they are praying joy for this journey. And right now friends, we are delighted to say it’s good, very good indeed!
