This Lovely Mess

Anxious Waiting is not Faith-Filled Waiting

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”
~ Psalm 130:5-6

I don’t like to wait. Something about waiting always leaves me unsettled—nervous. Waiting feels like it has a 50/50 chance of producing a positive outcome. Because the end result is unpredictable, I war-game scenarios, all of them typically worst-case. What if the test comes back cancerous? What if things don’t heal the way they are supposed to? What if I lose my spouse and I have to raise these kids on my own? What ifs that never end. And then I google. Am I the only one who drives themself crazy like this?

Anxious waiting is not faith-filled waiting.

Waiting which leaves us undone and void of peace is not the kind of waiting God has in mind when He encourages us to hold tight. Waiting I attempt to wrap in my own understanding leads to internal chaos and fear. Nothing about that feels good. Or safe. Fear is a horrible place to camp. That’s why God urges us to wait for the Lord, to wait on Him. 

Watchmen were anxious for morning light. When the city grew silent and the citizens slept soundly, the watchmen watched. They knew the greatest danger lurked in the shadows of the night. Watchmen stood vigilant because impending harm dictated they remained so. Watchmen needed to be ready at all times in order to sound the alarm if needed. The morning’s first rays must have come with great relief. Relief knowing all was well and the greatest danger had passed. With danger at bay, rest could finally come. 

We must wait on God more than we wait on outcomes.

Outcomes in life are unpredictable. Good ones are not promised guarantees. Inwardly I cringe to write that, although I know it’s true. God did not promise to shield us from heartache and pain on this side of Heaven. Yet God has promised us Himself. He has promised us His grace is sufficient—more than enough. If that test comes back bad, God will be there. If healing takes longer than expected, God will be there. If you feel alone, know you are not alone. God’s grace is big enough to carry us through both the bad as well as the good in life.

When we wait, our souls need more than anything to be anchored to God through the promises found in His Word. Promises like:

God goes before me.

God is with me. 

God will not leave me or forsake me. 

Strong reassurance that enables me to exchange feelings of fear and dismay for unshakable peace. Peace that goes beyond my ability to understand it. 

Life is full of waiting.

Wouldn’t you rather fill your days with peace than live in constant worry and fear? I know I would. I admit I don’t wait well. Yet I’m so thankful God doesn’t expect perfection from me in this area. God knows faith-filled waiting is hard for us to practice. Yet God knows hope is found only in His steadfast promises. Hope is anchored in Him. Today I need God and the assurance of His word more than anything else. Tomorrow I will need the same.

May we wait not in fear, but in eager hope hung upon the steadfast promises of God. 

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